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Crafted Scenes, Cognitive Scraps, and Coffee Stains from a Techie/Thinker/Writer/Musician

The Halferne Incubus

The Halferne Incubus

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About

Genre: Sci-Fi, Buddy Cop, Thriller
Themes: Identity as Subjective Reality
Pages: 281
Words: 73,217

The Halferne Incubus began as an experiment. In 2003, I had been working on The Malyon Gambit for a while. It had a strong protagonist and a mirror antagonist. It also had a universe and a bunch of worldbuilding that had been in my head for 20 years at the time, which, even as a fledgling writer, I knew was torture for a reader. So, I introduced the journalist, Serah Wyles, not scheduled to appear for a few books, to act as an outside witness/reader proxy and to carry the info-dump load.

The problem was that this wasn’t the version of Serah I had intended, and I couldn’t find her voice. So, I wrote a 20K short story called Incubus as a backstory to help. It came together quickly and was really the first major thing I’d ever finished. Then, in 2020, when I decided I wanted to do NaNoWriMo again, I dusted off the original short story and rewrote it as a full-length, stand-alone novel, beefing up the roles of Parrino and Max, and adding a bunch of technoculture stuff about simulation, spectacle, and identity just to give it a bit of depth. So, genre-wise, this is my “Buddy cop, techno-psychological thriller” or “Richard Donner and Alfred Hitchcock take a European Vacation with Guy DeBord and Howard Rheingold in tow.”


Back Cover Blurb

In a future world, the lines between the virtual and the physical are increasingly blurred…

A man who doesn’t exist is murdered.
A woman is tormented by his nightmares.
A mysterious dark figure only she can see will stop at nothing to know what they are.
A lone cop believes her and vows to protect her.
His dead partner isn’t convinced and wants to bring her to justice.

Can she unravel the mystery before losing her grip on reality?


Read the Latest Draft

As stated elsewhere, I consider this a “working manuscript.” It’s not a raw draft, but it’s not in final form either. From time to time (maybe once a year at most), I may revise something — a chapter, a scene, or an idea that’s matured or just been misunderstood by readers. Occasionally, a larger section gets rewritten, or something is added. Nothing here is volatile, but nothing is frozen. You’ll find the latest changes and planned (one day) next steps noted below.

I offer it here for readers who are curious now, not for early access hype or formal critique. If you enjoy it, that’s enough. If you notice something worth mentioning, I’m always interested — but feedback is optional, not expected. I’m not trying to con you into being a beta-reader.

Chapter 1Chapter 2Chapter 3Chapter 4Chapter 5Chapter 6Chapter 7Chapter 8Chapter 9Chapter 10Chapter 11Chapter 12Chapter 13Chapter 14Chapter 15Chapter 16Chapter 17Chapter 18Chapter 19Chapter 20Chapter 21Chapter 22Chapter 23Chapter 24


Playlist I Listened to While Writing It

Revision History

Original Short Story November 2004
Nano DraftFirst 53K words (NaNoWriMo draft)November 2020
Draft 0First Speed Draft — Rewritten second act; add third actSeptember 2022
Draft 1Grammarly DraftDecember 2022
Draft 2.0Alpha Reader Draft — Added chapters 2, 4, 17, 18, plus story tweaksMay 2024
Draft 2.1Adjust worldbuilding to address feedbackFeb 2025
Draft 2.2Modifications to chapters 4, 6, 22, 23, 24May 2025

Next Steps (Someday)

  • Currently 50% dialog. Cut repetitive arguments.
  • Vary sentence structure more
  • More interior stakes for Parrino and Serah
  • More distinct/consistent voicing for characters, late additions feel different from the earliest chapters since they were written years apart
  • Need a callback in the ending

References / Discussion in Other Posts